Ashley Avenu

Less scrolling, more living. That's the motto I've been practicing lately... mainly because it's so easy to get caught up in the glamor of everything we see. This world has shifted towards a show all bare all society where lives, even the simplest of gestures, have become a goal. Quite frankly in my case― I grew to despise downplaying my own life because it didn't meet certain standards. What standards? I couldn't tell you if I wanted to, but I'm sure anyone on Instagram creates their own "standard" by simply scrolling through their discovery page. It's a make-believe standard that has no purpose even crawling into our space, but it does and we allow it. 

This is the last segment to the mind shift series and today we're digging deep into comparison.

I've caught myself far into someones Instagram feed before, fascinated by the aesthetic of their graphics, not even realizing I was subconsciously comparing my life. Not in an "Oh I wish I was her" kind of way, but more of a "dang, my life is boring" way. When in actuality, it isn't boring at all. The best and most precious moments of my life don't make it to social media and as I've grown, I put a high priority on the value of privacy. Something that you don't see a lot of anymore. However, the part of comparison that really bothered me was when I started thinking I wasn't doing enough because someone else was doing it (insert fierce snap here). Seeing someone doing all of the things that you desire to do can make you feel questionable about when your breakthrough is coming. I know because I've been there, but what's most important is reminding ourselves that someone may be ahead of you now doing the exact thing you want to, but that doesn't mean you won't be taken further once your time comes. So comparison really isn't needed, you just have to take the time to teach yourself mindfulness, because you can't move forward until you have honored where you are right now. Easier said than done, but true.

Any form of comparison can be harmful to your own growth process. So, I have been making sure I practice as much positivity throughout my day, every day. I've been making it a habit to slow down sometimes and enjoy the moments presented to me. To live a slower, more intentional life. I also have been applying this new rule where as soon as I start to think something negative, I shift my thoughts on what I appreciate instead. It's very helpful. Choosing to be happy with what I have while working for what I want was the best decision I could have made for my peace of mind. You have to be willing to accept and stop disapproving all of the good in your life that doesn't match up to your "ideal" life in your head.

Having dissatisfaction of your life isn't going to make your life any better. Even if you feel like you aren't where you want to be, you're a lot further than you were starting out. To minimize the stress you might feel, be reasonable with your expectations. Find perspective and ask why you feel the way you do in regards to someone else's life. Once you are able to identify the heart of the issue, you can begin to lead a more positive and purposeful path. Don't let your happiness depend on anything outside of yourself. I think we get in this mindset when we see others highlights and think it's so much easier for them— when really, we all struggle to find our place in the world. So I believe it's key to focus on your plate and worry less about what everyone else is eating.

I no longer allow myself to feel triggered or less than because of the rise in others successes. It was frustrating in the past because of constant strive and push to get through the fog. Constantly asking when is my moment? However, once you start living your life for you and let go of the idea of what it's supposed to be― supporting other phenomenal, fearless and barrier breaking women becomes second nature because you're confident in your own direction. It gets tiring always worrying and stressing about what's next or where you aren't in life. Be more present, you'll reach the next step. Congratulate and genuinely support the next woman and be a positive reminder that we're more powerful together than we will ever be in competition. Stop thinking that everyone is ahead of you, you're right where you need to be and always remember no one's life is as put together as their Instagram feed.


Here's to rekindling a love for my ordinary, yet amazing life because you only get one and it's best to appreciate it— considering it could always be far worse.

I've really been picking up on the growth happening within me lately. My mentality and perspective about things have shifted. I now respond and approach situations attentively. Every day it feels like I'm flourishing more in depth. I'm discovering more about myself as the days come and go. It's not necessarily a weird feeling, but it sure gives you a front seat to take notice of how you're evolving. I take pride in who I am as a woman, what I want out of my life and how I want my presence to be remembered. With all of that comes the art of conquering within through my own acceptance. Welcome to part three of the mind-shift series. Today's post is about validation.

I'm an overthinker. I over analyze the smallest of issues and get worked up when feats don't pan out they way I believe should. Spoken like a true control freak. Hashtag perfectionist. Here's what I had to cope and come to terms with: nothing ever happens like you imagine it will. When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing.

 I took a slight break away from the blog to unplug and fully embrace my vacay. While enjoying every precious moment throughout that mini break, I was able to reconnect with my creative flow. Although I didn't do much blogging, I did take in all of Gods creation and nature around me. This simple act of gratitude allowed me to tap into my innermost feelings, dislikes, and places for soul improvement. Watching the sunset on the lake is a serene sense of inspiration which allowed me to embrace ways to fix my thinking. Just sitting there in admiration... myself, nature and God— absent from all the troubles of the world, gave me a renewed appreciation of life. A complete shift of mindset. A yearning desire to live my best life, but in a more reformed way than before.