Season of Pruning

8.02.2018 Downtown Fresno

God has truly been developing me this year. I can say that deep down inside, I felt it was going to be a different kind of outcome than what I expected. Lately, I've been detoxing because I needed clarity. I was experiencing major shifts with what I wanted in life, my vision and my outlook on where I saw and see myself going changed ultimately making me feel out of place. One moment, I'm excited for the new year, firmly believing it was a breakout season and the next thing I know, God completely repositions my heart towards my career. Imagine how confusing that feels.

My blog has always represented my transparency and every crack and sharp edge that I experience, I share. However, in the last three months, I have felt like I had absolutely nothing to share at all. As the months continued to come and go, I slowly started to be drawn in a direction I honestly wish would have dawned on me sooner. Moreover, it took me finally working in television to feel the need to do more and gain the idea which is equally important.

God's humor is interesting. I seem to always have these times of awakening the month I embrace a new year of age. It never fails. As I get older,  I'm realizing I don't want anything remotely close to what I once thought I wanted.

I promise this isn't a mid-life crisis, but people change. Our interests grow and I would be doing myself a disservice if I stayed in a lane I chose for myself at nineteen years old. I had no clue what life even held back then, let alone the struggles I would endure. Maturity has shown me that I didn't really know what I wanted, but connected common similarities that I felt would help my transition from life after sports into the workforce easier. Yeah, being a Sports Broadcaster sounded great to me then. The fact of the matter is, I'm just too shy to be in front of the camera like that and I always have been. Although my passions lie in sports, media, and writing, that specific job isn't for me plus a new found love for consulting, which I just figured out from working in media consulting, developed! Sometimes you'll discover new passions by taking a chance on yourself to try something new. Being in your twenties/thirties and still figuring it out is ok. Society may expect us to have certain areas and qualities of our lives together by a certain age, but I live for me... and if I'm being directed in the opposite direction than I was originally going, I'm trusting my gut feeling over everything. I have no problem switching lanes into what is going to make my life and career feel worthwhile.

It's one thing to say you are "becoming"  and another to actually be living it. I didn't know what was happening but I knew then and still know now, that God is uprooting me to plant something better. To get a clearer message, I decided to detox from social media. The focus of the detox included three areas:

rest: to bear fruit through trial.
revival: to change how I pray and where I put my time.
renewal: to make old things in my life feel brand new and accept new work under God.

Every day I'm realizing the many layers that come with growth. It's like an onion. Each time you pull the skin back and confront the emotions that come with it, you find yourself peeling yet another layer until you have met every flaw and overcome the discomfort.

 This specific season of growth in my life is my time of pruning. I'm nurturing and watering my next step with the belief that caring hands bear the greatest fruits. I want to be aligned with what God has placed on my heart, cutting away and trimming dead stems and overgrown branches that I have invested in.

 My career is slightly transitioning and I'm fine with it because the most important thing to me is utilizing the degree I already possess and figuring out ways to capitalize with it. The support I receive from family and friends is extra encouragemnt pushing myself that much harder to bring Gods assignment to fruition. I can go as far as I want to go, through every door that's mine. It's time to realize that as long as we create excuses we miss out on an opportunity to develop and become a master at what comes naturally to us TO produce a living from it like we all truly want. It starts with your perceptions. You'll continue to be dissatisfied the more you build your tolerance for it.

My plans were fine, but I had to realize that God had the right to change them.

motto: pray on it, plan on it, act on it and pray on it some more.
Here's to living in truth and power.
© Ashley Avenu. john 15:5 .