Forgiveness, the most graceful attribute but hardest action to do. As I was sitting around today, I stumbled across a message by Bishop T.D. Jakes about forgiving and I instantly found myself intrigued by the truth behind every word and wanted to touch on some important key points. My attention was initially sparked by one simple question. Why is it that we live in a society that celebrates people for being unforgiving?

It's true, so many of us hang on to anger and unhappiness and refuse to forgive people and for some reason we simultaneously see this as strength. Growing up we were always taught to forgive, and as children we were so forgiving with no hesitation, but a lot of us have neglected that quality as adults. Somehow, we've reluctantly conditioned ourselves to believe that having anger and "not needing people" while continuously living in misery is the highest indication of strength. When in reality, it takes even more strength to forgive than it does to remain hostile, cold hearted and petty. 

"Forgiveness is a big idea and you have to be a big person to be able to do it." 

I'm starting to realize that most people cannot handle the greatness of forgiving because the task of forgiveness alone is too complex. Nowadays people are too petty, too sensitive and too easily offended, and it takes a much bigger person to embrace it.


"Offenses will come."  


You can try your best to dodge and avoid them, but they will come over and over and over again. Dealing with offenses is what you signed up for in life. Situations aren't going to always be peaches and cream and you're going to face some difficult times, but it's how you rise above your offenses that alters your outcome. 


"God will promote you to the level of your tolerance of pain." 

 If you can't take pain, your life will not be promoted to its next level because you can't handle the tests that are being thrown at you to allow you to grow from it. The biggest blessings come from the hardest storms and the storm that was sent to break you, is going to be the storm that God uses to make you. When you ask to be put into certain situations you are asking for problems, you're asking for offenses. You can't ask to eat and then get mad about the load of the feast that is brought to your table.


"New levels; new devils."
The higher you rise; the more confrontation you will encounter and go through as you elevate. You must be able to handle these. It's important that we all learn how to be perpetually forgiven. As soon as you get offended, throw it off. You can't allow anything that doesn't positively nourish yourself to feed you, collect in your spirit, become toxic in you or take you out of your character. Whatever they did and whoever did it is not worth it. It is not worth allowing everything you have or are working towards become tainted by envy, resentment and hate. You have to learn how to shake it off.

 If you're not careful, so much negative energy will fill your spirit and damage your attitude. The person that you used to be and the person you were on your way to be— ends up being caught in corrosions from all the toxic you receive. You continue to allow all the build up from all that has happened to you be stored away in grudge and that's the fastest way to self-destruct.


Don't collect so much offense that you use all of your energy to manage the culprit of your grudge. All of that energy wasted on being unprincipled, devious and low, could easily be energy that could be going towards an abundant and fulsome life, instead you are constantly allowing open wounds to remain unhealed and band-aid free and I guarantee you are the only one holding on to something that shouldn't even have power to alter your being.

"It's not about the perpetrator, it's about liberating the victim. I'm not going to live in where I've been, when I have an opportunity to cut the cord and live in where I'm trying to go." 

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have agreed to any of their wrong doings, and it doesn't mean that you are weak. It just means that you have too much in-front of you to even allow the things you need to put behind you, continue to leave you angry and bound by misery.


Sometimes people just are not going to ask for forgiveness. Should you let this stir up more anger and grudge? Absolutely not. Don't give people that much power that you put your life on hold waiting for them to get a clue. Whatever they owe you an apology, money or etc. do not wait on it. You may never get the apology or the money. But you can't lose peace over money or a sorry. Chuck it up and take it for what it is and move on. You can get more in what you're waiting for when you have some peace. Nobody else can cut you from your grudge but you and you have to come to terms and be able to cut yourself loose.  

Reminder: You're too powerful to be that petty. Know how to recognize the devil's work and remove yourself from it. Pettiness is kids play. We've grown. 


God will never bless evil intentions. You have to allow people to wallow in misery alone. That's what they want to lay in, you want no parts. You have to check your attitude. When the devil is working, he will try to get you out of alignment and get in the way of God's blessing for you. 

Take in what's good, throw out what's bad and keep on moving. 


"Unforgiveness is a learned behavior."

It doesn't hurt your enemy; it only hurts and hinders progress for you.


It's time to start running our own lives and disconnecting from all toxicity and unforgiving spirits that feed on hate and gloat on unhappiness. There is so much power in forgiving, but you will never see the best versions to your life constantly complaining and being mad about what others have done to you.  Do your part and remain a person of good value and don't let others alter who you are. You aren't the only person who has people hurting you. This is something you have to do for you, not for them. Simply let it go.  

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Ashley Avenu. Jeremiah 29:11.