Stop Allowing Others to Edit Your Vision

3.23.2019 Tower District, Fresno, CA

(photo by Toni G, @tonigphoto. mua/hair: Vince @thatguyvince87 + Hannah @hannahhartmanhair)

For as long as I can remember, I have always dreamt about what I wanted to curate and build in my life. Since I was a little girl my visions have been bigger than myself.. always having a clear indication of how I wanted my life to feel, rather than how I wanted it to look. I knew that I wanted to be happy, comfortable and passionate. No matter if it was envisioning myself being an Olympian or setting my eyes on becoming a forensic scientist and crime scene investigator, I always had a sense of assurance in terms of what I was working towards... and it always included happiness. As I continued to grow into the steps of becoming the woman I am today, I analyzed different things in terms of my life dreams. I realized the realities of how I was characteristically and noticed I couldn't stand the sight of blood or anything that had to do with surgery/needles and sensitive imagery. So, I knew a career as a forensic scientist would be hard for me (I never grew out of this phase). With evolution, my story and visions changed— but I was the ruler of the shifts being made. I was the influence over what I wanted life to consist of and it's important that you don't allow anyone else to hold the power + key to your destiny.

Sometimes, we let the people around us dictate our decision making based on their inability to see what we envision for ourselves. Typically you may see this happen with family members (especially those who have old fashioned viewpoints), but it can often come from friend groups and those closest around you too. Feeling like no one sees your big picture can be extremely frustrating but you have to understand that most of the time it's not for them to understand when everything is still developing. Just because they can't see what you're working towards or maybe don't get what you're trying to do shouldn't discourage you from pushing forward. This doesn't make them any less supportive and it doesn't mean they don't believe in you, it's just not their gift to handle. They may question you, they may seem like they are discouraging you (or maybe they are) but none of that ever matters. What does matter? You not allowing anyone to have a say in editing what God positioned you for.

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, The Redefining Wealth Podcasts with Patrice Washington, the other week while driving home from work.. and the topic at hand was releasing your genius. Personally, the whole episode hit home for me. When it comes to people supporting, I don't feel I lack in that area, but all of the different extensions to what I believe makes my brand and how I am trying to uproot that can be misunderstood sometimes. In my head, there are so many moving parts and tentacles reaching towards one goal. However, to others, it can look confusing but I know exactly what's going on and what needs to be done. I had to come to terms with the fact that it is not my responsibility to make people believe in my ideas or vision. I cannot blame or get frustrated with people not seeing what I haven’t even manifested yet. To them, it’s just dreams and talks, but for me— it’s something that I feel drawn in my core to do. Truth be told, nobody will actually get it until they start seeing it unfold in real life. 

Nothing worth having ever comes easy and I'm willing to do all that I can to make things I imagine happen for me, with and without the support of people who matter to me. You notice when it's time to stop trying to include everyone in what you're doing for the sake of protecting what it is you're creating. My ideas aren't as sacred to others. What I'm trying to build isn't as sacred to others. The life I want to transition into doesn't make sense to anyone who can't see it.. so why risk losing what I have to work with as I try to achieve these things and allow my positivity, enthusiasm and will to be stripped away? 

I can't let people kill my creativity and hopefulness. 

Through this journey, I've learned that support will be handed and withdrawn from you. What seemed stable before can crumble the very next day and all you can do is continue on the mission you started like nothing ever happened. Offenses and disappointments will come but I'll never let it change the path I chose to walk on. No matter what, my vision is mine and nothing anyone does can stop me from bringing it to fruition. 

My path is unique to me and only me. A lot can change at any given moment and I'm trying to embrace all transitions the best that I can. Growth and maturation are constantly knocking at my door. Every day brings new lessons and new potential. I will continue to chase whatever makes me happy and wherever I find comfort. I'm staying true to myself and everything that makes me Ashley.

Until next time. 

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