2.18.2018

Fall in Love with Your Solitude


The balance between solitude and connectedness can be challenging sometimes. You want to be present but very much alone simultaneously. Many are afraid of being completely comfortable in solitude because it can often be confused with loneliness or anti-socialization, which doesn't have to be the case at all. I hold company within myself so sacred to the point that even when I am alone, I am completely whole. Between my career, brand, family, friends and a relationship; constantly trying to make time for everything can be an overload. It's easy to forget to carve out time for yourself. Once I acknowledged that solitude was my way to recharge I started to spend a lot more time with myself unapologetically.  I learned how to be truly content in my own company and there's honestly nothing better than knowing how to enjoy things by yourself.

Temporarily, but willingly disconnecting from whatever causes the most amount of noise in your world is imperative. A serious gem in self-care. It's freedom. A chance for restoration and a pathway to discover who you are in silence. An opportunity for spiritual maintenance. Once you see how peaceful it is— you want more. I give myself full permission to go off the grid and disappear when need be. Sometimes it's better to be missed than to be everywhere in order to repair and refine your soul. One thing that I have learned throughout my personal development journey is that you have to protect your energy, you can't let the disallowance of others to have a swayful impact on how you recoup. See, I'm an ambivert to the core. Very outgoing, but can be very shy as well. Life of the party, but once I'm low on energy I just want to be with myself. I can talk your ear off, but sometimes I don't want to say one single word. Too much time on the introvert or extrovert side will cause me to be irritatable or quite moody.

I used to be the person who had a really hard time saying no to people. I didn't want to let anyone down or make it seem like I wasn't being supportive so I would say yes to things I truly didn't want to do. Yes, I'll be there. Yes, I can do that for you. Yes, I can help. Yes, I'll drive. Yes, I'll get up out of my time alone to keep you company when I truly don't want to be bothered. It was always yes. Rarely did I ever say no, and if I did it was hard to get it out. I soon learned that I had to stop saying yes to things for the sake of other people's feelings. So, I began to learn how to prioritize the times I needed alone. Ignoring how you feel and going against what your body and demeanor are telling you only makes the matter worse because then you come off like you have an attitude when people ask something of you. I didn't want that. There's no need to feel like you're obligated to do anything for anyone. No is a complete sentence that needs no explanation whatsoever. If you say it, leave it and don't let anyone try to change your mind. Also note that even if you said yes before and suddenly have a change of heart, say no, and don't make yourself feel guilty for it.

Minimalism gets applied whenever I seek solitude. I go on many decluttering sprees because it's another way to interact with my feelings, collect my thoughts and rearrange what needs better placement within my soul. I acknowledge when I need to be more in tune with myself and I've made being alone a luxury to be immersed and aware in the fullness of my own presence. Ample time with myself is about being authentic. Having boundaries for socialization and enforcing them. Catering to my space first and everyone else second.

Solitary is truly about being your own friend sometimes and figuring out what you need more or less of in these moments. The silence reveals the truth to all solutions. The escape allows you to release, detoxify and gain more clarity. Honestly, all that comes with being a 21st-century working professional can get in the way of your healing energy. Connect and find new characteristics about you. Be comfortable with telling others no in order to say yes to yourself. It's your time to delve into the depths of what you're truly feeling. Identify what's being consumed and produced throughout your day to day life and evaluate where you can correct any draining or destruction of your energy.

Whatever revivifies balance is essential.

Use solitude as your bliss, follow it and achieve happiness by yourself.
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2 comments

  1. Very good article Ashley. I see that you are coming into your own and learning early what takes most to learn in a lifetime....filtering the distractions. We can't be everything to everybody but, hope to be an inspiration to some along the way. Solitude and stillness (meditation) are the fertilizers of creativity and also be mindful of the energy within your proximity.....

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  2. We live in a world where we are constantly being pulled in different directions in our personal lives. I've learned to embrace my solitude no matter what season I am in because time alone is never wasted; it's a gift.

    Understanding and implementing the importance of solitude silences the noise, it calms and recollects the inner you.

    Well written post on solitude. Love it, love you!

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