7.29.2017

Rekindling a Love for My "Ordinary" Life | Mind-Shift Pt. 4


Less scrolling, more living. That's the motto I've been practicing lately... mainly because it's so easy to get caught up in the glamor of everything we see. This world has shifted towards a show all bare all society where lives, even the simplest of gestures, have become a goal. Quite frankly in my case I grew to despise downplaying my own life because it didn't meet certain standards. What standards? I couldn't tell you if I wanted to, but I'm sure anyone on Instagram creates their own "standard" by simply scrolling through their discovery page. It's a make-believe standard that has no purpose even crawling into our space, but it does and we allow it. 

This is the last segment to the mind shift series and today we're digging deep into comparison.

I've caught myself far into someones Instagram feed before, fascinated by the aesthetic of their graphics, not even realizing I was subconsciously comparing my life. Not in an "Oh I wish I was her" kind of way, but more of a "dang, my life is boring" way. When in actuality, it isn't boring at all. The best and most precious moments of my life don't make it to social media and as I've grown, I put a high priority on the value of privacy. Something that you don't see a lot of anymore. However, the part of comparison that really bothered me was when I started thinking I wasn't doing enough because someone else was doing it (insert fierce snap here). Seeing someone doing all of the things that you desire to do can make you feel questionable about when your breakthrough is coming. I know because I've been there, but what's most important is reminding ourselves that someone may be ahead of you now doing the exact thing you want to, but that doesn't mean you won't be taken further once your time comes. So comparison really isn't needed, you just have to take the time to teach yourself mindfulness, because you can't move forward until you have honored where you are right now. Easier said than done, but true.

Any form of comparison can be harmful to your own growth process. So, I have been making sure I practice as much positivity throughout my day, every day. I've been making it a habit to slow down sometimes and enjoy the moments presented to me. To live a slower, more intentional life. I also have been applying this new rule where as soon as I start to think something negative, I shift my thoughts on what I appreciate instead. It's very helpful. Choosing to be happy with what I have while working for what I want was the best decision I could have made for my peace of mind. You have to be willing to accept and stop disapproving all of the good in your life that doesn't match up to your "ideal" life in your head.

Having dissatisfaction of your life isn't going to make your life any better. Even if you feel like you aren't where you want to be, you're a lot further than you were starting out. To minimize the stress you might feel, be reasonable with your expectations. Find perspective and ask why you feel the way you do in regards to someone else's life. Once you are able to identify the heart of the issue, you can begin to lead a more positive and purposeful path. Don't let your happiness depend on anything outside of yourself. I think we get in this mindset when we see others highlights and think it's so much easier for them— when really, we all struggle to find our place in the world. So I believe it's key to focus on your plate and worry less about what everyone else is eating.

I no longer allow myself to feel triggered or less than because of the rise in others successes. It was frustrating in the past because of constant strive and push to get through the fog. Constantly asking when is my moment? However, once you start living your life for you and let go of the idea of what it's supposed to be supporting other phenomenal, fearless and barrier breaking women becomes second nature because you're confident in your own direction. It gets tiring always worrying and stressing about what's next or where you aren't in life. Be more present, you'll reach the next step. Congratulate and genuinely support the next woman and be a positive reminder that we're more powerful together than we will ever be in competition. Stop thinking that everyone is ahead of you, you're right where you need to be and always remember no one's life is as put together as their Instagram feed.


Here's to rekindling a love for my ordinary, yet amazing life because you only get one and it's best to appreciate it considering it could always be far worse.
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4 comments

  1. As I read this post, I am flustered with and aware of the reality of how dangerous comparing your life to social media can be if we do not make the decision to put an end to it.


    It is so feasible to scroll down Instagram and subconsciously compare your chapter 2 to some else's chapter 10, 12, or 26. I can speak for myself. It has taken me years to finally come to the realization that when you play the comparison game, you lose to yourself by failing to realize that your life has the same extreme significance, value, and purpose as the life of the person you are comparing yourself to.


    Love this post, sister! Thank you for sharing.


    -Wid

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    1. Thank you Wid! It's true and I think the worse part is when we don't even realize that we're doing it. Then we kind of trying to boost our lives when they're already really great. I try not to be on instagram as much so I don't start wandering lol, I'll post and go half the time just so I'm not consumed with the 'perfect" image that it gives off.

      However, I find it inspiring to look at other women doing great in their careers like Doctors, RNs, lawyers and other communications, pr and media professionals, I'll use that as a motivation boost here and there.

      Thank you for reading!

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  2. This is such an amazing post. A lot of what gets people depressed these days is what they consume from social media and this is really gonna help.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for reading! Yes, I agree, a lot of depression is caused my false realities and images from social media and I hope whoever comes across this realizes that their life is amazing just the way it is!

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